No, But Listen -- Tery Van Yves Is Here and They Have Thoughts

No, but listen --

The ice bath thing. Okay? Let's start there.

Someone told me cold plunging would "activate my vagus nerve" and I would feel "incredible clarity" afterward. And I want to be fair -- I DID feel something afterward. It was not clarity. It was a very strong desire to be inside a blanket forever and never speak of this again.

But did I do it a second time to make sure? Yes. Did I do it a THIRD time because I read an article that said the benefits don't kick in until your body adjusts? Also yes.

THIS is the energy I bring to health and wellness. I am not a casual observer. I have done the juice cleanses -- three different ones, two of which are genuinely fine, one of which I have QUESTIONS about. I have tried the biohacking protocols that required a spreadsheet. I have taken supplements with ingredient lists longer than my lease agreement. I have done approximately six versions of intermittent fasting and they are NOT all the same and someone should have put that on the box. Yaaasss, I said it.

I have THOUGHTS.

Here's what I'm actually here for: I will tell you what moved the needle. I will tell you what was a complete waste of money. I will absolutely flag anything that looks fishy before the Instagram algorithm gets to you -- because the wellness industry has figured out that "make it a vibe" prints money regardless of whether the thing actually works, and I find that offensive on a personal level.

Okay, real talk -- your health is serious. Like, genuinely serious. Even when I'm being extremely not-serious about how I talk about it. Which I will be. Frequently. Because if we can't laugh at the ice bath situation we are not going to survive this journey together.

I got you, girl. And guys. And everyone in between.

Tuck and roll, bitches. This is gonna be a wild ride.

-- Tery